Top 10 Reasons to Become a Mother

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Top 10 Reasons to Become a Mother:

I thought I’d come up with 10 reasons to become a mother to help along those ladies who aren’t sure weather or not they’re ready to take the leap and start a family. After reading this I’m sure you’ll want to grab your husband and start making some babies!! These are in no particular order.

1. Your breasts will look full and amazing (for about two weeks).

2. Once your breasts don’t look amazing anymore you have a noble excuse to get them “augmented”.

3. “I have a headache” doesn’t have to be your only excuse anymore.

4. People wont judge as quickly when you go out looking like you’ve been run over by a truck.

5. You’ll finally have an excuse to buy new furniture because yours will be covered in pee and vomit.

6. You have a good reason to leave a boring dinner party “got to get home to the baby, she needs to nurse”.

7. You finally get to expose yourself in public.

8. There’s a ton of new clothes to be bought, from maternity clothes, to after “fat” clothes. Then there’s the “all of my old stuff is out of style” clothes to buy once you’re back to ideal form.

9. You get presents (even though they’re actually for the baby, it still feels a bit like Christmas).

10. For nine whole months you get to play the pregnancy card and get back rubs, late night snacks, foot rubs, and whatever else you “need”.

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4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

worst reasons to want to be a mother

May 18, 2007 at 6:42 AM  
Anonymous DH said...

Here are the worst reasons to be a mother:

1. At best this little spawn of yours might graduate high school, probably won't attend college, and spend its remaining average life sucking from the tax base of the productive members of society.

2. Your body? It will be stretched, pulled, and pushed like it has never been before - and it will be sure to show the results.

3. Yes, join the club of the quintessential American Soccer mom pushing her Eddie Bauer edition baby stroller while holding a starbucks and yammering on a cell phone while walking out of the mall hair salon on a Saturday afternoon with her new $200 cookie cutter swoosh hairstyle while her husband slaves away at work trying to pay for her pearl colored Escalade, the Super-Sized McMansion, and now the new ivy-league education fund for junior.

4. Want to retire at an early age? Having a litter of mouths to feed is a sure-fire way to prevent this.

5. There are women astronauts, women CEOs, women neurosurgeons, women leaders of countries, and women scientists changing the world for the better in fantastic ways we never thought possible: giving their gift of intelligence to the world for a better tomorrow. What exactly have you given to the world? One more dirty little mongrel...there is already far too many.

May 18, 2007 at 7:12 AM  
Anonymous a woman's view said...

Was this written by a man or woman?

For 1 & 2, it is horrible to suggest that women need to get bigger boobs to feel better about themselves. This is a horrible message.

5-- Everything will be covered in pee and vomit? Sounds more like a reason NOT to get pregnant.

7-- This is a "Yay!" for some men and strippers, but most women are uncomfortable with indecency.

8-- A ton of new clothes to be bought= lots of wasted money. Again, a reason NOT to get pregnant.

9-- Making a baby to get presents? What a horrible materialistic society we've become when it has come to this. Disgusting.

May 18, 2007 at 10:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is one of the disgusting posts that I read recently.

Motherhood is precious and sacred, please don't try to make anything funny out of it.

June 7, 2007 at 6:33 AM  

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